Tom Bolls, Psychotherapist
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"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people."  Carl Jung
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Struggling With Self-Sabotage

Self destructive behaviors are rigid, unhealthy patterns of responding to feelings of shame and powerlessness.  Addictions, compulsions, all the forms of self-destructive behavior have the perverse function to numb shame. When we are caught in self destructive tangles, we forget to feel badly about ourselves -- for the moment.

If you are struggling with self-destructive patterns, you might tell yourself:

  • "I'm not good enough." 
  • "I'm permanently damaged."
  • "Who could love me, I'm so awful?"
  • "No one cares about me."
  • "I'm stupid." 
  • "I'm worthless."
  • "If you really knew how bad I am, you would go away."
Smoking, alcohol, and drug abuse are easily recognizable self-destructive behaviors. But self-destructive patterns are not always so obvious nor are their causes always easy to understand.  The work in therapy is to trace these behaviors back to their source.   Many times these behaviors were adopted in childhood in an effort to manage overwhelming emotions such as shame or guilt.

Change away from self-destructive behavior proceeds by gaining insight and then practicing more effective coping strategies.  If you find yourself caught in the tangle of self-destructive behaviors, there are many avenues to recovery and growth.  The goal is to eliminate these harmful coping strategies by finding new ways to be kinder and gentler with yourself.  

 
Are You Seeking Counseling?
 
I am professional counselor, licensed by the State of Texas.  If you are interested in meeting with me, I offer a 30-minute free consultation.  Studies suggest that the one of the most important healing factors in therapy is a good personality match.  We can use this time to talk about what's troubling you and see if I am the best person to fit your needs.  To schedule an appointment, please give me a call or send me an email.  I'd like to help in any way that I can.

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Tom Bolls, MA, LPC
Psychotherapist
8500 North MoPac Expressway #820
Austin, Texas 78759
(512) 468-7832

 

Copyright 2011 Tom Bolls, Two Rivers Counseling